After nearly 9 months and 30+ hours of labor, Miles is here! It then took us a few extra days to get out of the hospital. Elizabeth did great during the birth, even with the incredibly long time and the crazy amount of pain and pressure of giving birth.
They really don’t tell you anything about what happens during childbirth and it is a shame. The amount of work, the crazy things it does to a woman’s body and the whole scene of giving birth, is, well, underappreciated.
I am without the necessary writing skills to lend a real hand in understanding the process, but I will try. Unfortunately, video of the event is still not proper in our modern society.
Hiding from Birth
So, why can’t we discuss it? I remember one of the nurses explaining that as the father, I could just hide in a room and wait and they would call me when the baby was here. They also discourage this behavior but understand it.
The nurses explained that this is what was expected for decades where the fathers would just go in a room and distract themselves and never know what actually happened. Then all of a sudden, they would see a clean and cozy baby through a window, told that the baby and mother did great, and then brought to a recovery room to be with the family. Today they do encourage fathers to be a part of the birth. It is odd that anyone would have to be encouraged as it seems essential.
I was there in support, the only thing I could give was love and encouragement, and I couldn’t imagine doing any less. I was there from the first contraction through the difficult birth and it was hard.
It was hard to see someone I love doing something so challenging and painful. I think there is a lot of growing up that father’s need to do. After all, this is how we all are born and to ignore and keep it hidden, is dishonest.
Discussing Life and Birth
Why don’t we talk about giving birth and how difficult and traumatic it really is and always will be. From the moment labor starts, it is a roller coaster of worry, pain, struggle, humility, wonder, and elation. It is just my opinion, but if we want to really make a change in how we look at life, everyone should have to be part of the birth of a child early on in life. We should have to understand the end result of having a sexual relationship.
We should have to look at the truth of what it means to be ready for this type of outcome. After all, we treat sexual relationships like they don’t lead to the inevitable child staring at you, after it grows for 9 months inside of a woman and then is pushed out to the world with nothing but two naive parents, looking at him or her for the first time.
Women and Life
The bottom line is that a life is being created. We call them all babies when they are born. A baby that has to be grown inside a woman. We wrap up the entire growing a baby process in one word; pregnancy. Turns out that pregnancy is also underappreciated. It is difficult, has stages of complication and is not by any stretch of the imagination free from discomfort and struggle.
Then at the end of that 9-month journey, a living breathing little boy or girl has to be moved out to the world in a stunning and slow-moving process that very few people see prior to having their own children if they see it at all. The importance of a woman is without a doubt clearly established separately during pregnancy and then during the birth of a child.
A Women’s World Without Credit
It is a woman’s world, but without the credit or appreciation. A woman’s world that the world is unwilling to come to terms with. In our modern time, I’m unsure why it isn’t headlined news when children are born, the process of getting there and the overall accomplishment that is life.
Why the news dedicates none of its time to the birth of children is shameful and lacks honesty. What is more important and impacts our lives more than the bringing about of a new life.
This is our second child, and it is odd how each child is different, but the experience is the same. It is difficult. It is heartbreaking with the pain and ends in triumph and elation. But, then the work continues.
It doesn’t ever stop. Real life is nowhere on television and isn’t in enough stories. It is a struggle, hard work, and worries with a reward for a good life. It is love and compassion mixed with worry and accomplishment.
I find myself still looking back even though a month has passed. A month has passed since Miles was born and it has been great, but difficult. There is always a struggle, but this struggle is worth it. It isn’t about getting a sale, making money, or entertaining ourselves. It is about life. A life that needs constant love and help.
Andrew and Miles
So with Miles being here, Andrew has a new brother. Andrew is learning how a brother feels to have and how much time it takes to make it all work. Andrew is taking on his new role as big brother in stride and is slowly learning that he has to be patient to as it will be some time before Miles is ready to play.